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To-do list: 1.Start doing a list hoping it

  • To-do list: 1.Start doing a list hoping it will go somewhere nice and become something.

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  • 2. Turn your umbrellas widdershins. 3.Get the turtle neutered again. 4. Think puce when you should be thinking potato. 5. "Oh hi, Dwight" every time you see Jim. 6. another rectal

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  • sphincter spasm (ugh!) 7. Twirl around like a delighted princess. 8. Conduct a symphony on a train. 9. Wander as you wonder. 10. Butter your butt & call yourself a biscuit. 10.

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  • Walk two miles in one of another person's shoes. 11. Bring a third wolf inside yourself. 12. Fistfight the moon. 13. Try to increase or decrease your height by at least ten inches.

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  • 14. Ingest the sun via your left nostril. 15. Enter the Miss Universe competition and shoot a fireball at Donald Trump. 16. Become a necromancer and convince caviar to overthrow

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  • all of the millionaires in the world 17. Eat some pudding because we all deserve a break. 18. Take a check-up to see if your left nostril is infected. 19. Try to infect Kim-Jong-Un

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  • with said nostril infection. 20. Get thrown into a North Korean detainment facility. 21. Make friends with your cellmate, a former journalist named Ji-Hu. 22. Convince Ji-Hu to

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  • marry you once this whole North Korean Detainment thing was behind you. 23. Be pardoned by the N.K. Government in order to wed Ji-Hu. 24. Have Ji-Hu write your bio as a screenplay.

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  • 25. Wear a strap-on your forehead and pretend you're a Korean unicorn. 26. Witness Ji-Hu commit Seppuku because of the dishonor the unicorn incident brought upon her. 27. Su

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  • ck on the strap-on in the most salacious way possible. 28. Command Ji-Hu to clean up her bloody Seppuku mess. 29. Realize Ji-Hu is dead. 30. Clean up the Seppuku mess yourself.

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2 Comments

  1. smalldots Dec 18 2022 @ 15:59

    Hilarious. I wasn't aware of that text to speech service!

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