Keyboard Keith sat on the steps outside the

Keyboard Keith sat on the steps outside the studio. He told the producer he was not going to leave, he was going to play loud organ music until he was finally let in. He had casio

calculators that displayed "hello" as a nice gesture, but no dice. Passers by mistook Keyboard Keith for a ballpark DJ-turned-bum, so he quickly amassed a fortune of nickels and bi

ked them over to the Chesapeake Energy Arena parking lot. There, Serge Ibaka mistook him for a bum-turned-game announcer and escorted him into the booth. Keith looked around

frantically at the expectant audience. On stage with Keith were three people in high chairs, black-hooded and with red buzzers on their trays. Serge's emcee consort, Eve Primrose,

proclaimed to Keith, "So it is my understanding that because you are 'born again', you can continue to commit adultery yet still recieve God's favor because God expects you sin?

"Yes, just as long as I go to confession. God thinks we are all crapbags, so that means that being a crapbag is ok as we own up to it. I murdered someone last week but it is okay

..." God intervened at that point with a thunderbolt and that was the end of him. God up on his throne was ticked off. This so wasn't how things were supposed to turn out on Earth

. God called forth Noah. "You, Noah, shall be my ambassador of change." "I, Lord? But what would you have me do?" God replied, "You must be a shepherd to my folds." Noah

dutifully gathered two of each type of fold in his paper boat; two manatees, two turgid stoats, two little ponies, two spam babies, two zombies etc.. After 40 days, Squawkers flew

away, soon finding a little island with a pear tree in which there was a single partridge. He then went back to the boat, but found that the zombies had devoured the other animals!