I made you a chocolate chip cookie but it

I made you a chocolate chip cookie but it came to life and it was so tasty that it ate itself.

I picked you a bouquet of wildflowers but they decomposed, formed their own soil, and turned into a bunch of mushrooms.

"Oh,THANK YOU! Aren't you SO sweet? How did you know I love shrooms?" she smiled demurely and winked at me. "Should I put them in water or should we eat them together right now?"

My mycologist heart quailed at her crude proposals for such fine shroom specimens. I'd retrieved them from embalming jars of Pharaoh Haiyasakaite's tomb but she popped them in her

blender and mixed them with egg plant, tahini a pinch of salt, whipped soy cream and chilly powder. The combination was lethal with a strangely otherworldly taste that caused one t

o really miss the days when you could smoke during surgery. But wasn't all this cooking and chef crap really just a put on. Let's really talk about what makes the world tick.

My furkids noticed and watched me draw some building, complete with gargoyles. It was midnight, already? How long had I been working on this drawing? It must have been hours. The

gargoyles I had just drawn started to stretch their muscles and those that had wings flexed them. The stone that they were simply turned into flesh. I would have expected it to fla

-p around like Aunt Ginnie's underarms, but they were spectacularly toned. They flew off the page, unleashed into the world, and scared the dickens out of evil spirits everywhere.