As he listened to the group discuss how to

As he listened to the group discuss how to get around their upcoming drug test, he internally smiled. He was the mastermind behind "National Drug Test day" on 4/21. Sipping

a Diet Rockstar, eating a Hostess snowball and 7-11 pizza, he laughed at the others. None of the chemicals in his body would show up in a drug test, unlike theirs. Pot heads

were the best. You could pretty much tell them anything, and they'd be like 'cool'. I tried it. "Hey, Jimi Hendrix is touring with the B-52s! Wanna go?" 'cool'. "Hey, I'm going to

hang myself, wanna watch?" 'cool'. "Hey I'm dying a slow painful death, wanna rescue me?" 'cool'. "Achoo!" 'cool'. Always the same 'cool' reply, no matter I said to all of the

them. This so annoyed me, I began to only say things to which the answer 'cool' would be appropriate. "What's summer in Scotland like?" - cool. "My fridge is..?" - cool. Happier,

"Cool beans" was another variation on that theme. The British comedian, Des O'Connor , made jokes I remembered forty plus years later, when I had a tellie. I have no tellie now.

thought we'd be watching them. But they'd been watching reruns and didn't realize tellies were long over. So everyone missed their broadcast announcing their imminent invasion

of the Stop 'n' Shop on 11th street and as a result the tellies were able to take over the store easily. Donning the uniforms of the employees (who had fled eagerly), the tellies

Reversed their Buck- Step up transformers. Coordinating a mega surge in power of 400GigaWatts of power. Frying every single circuit in Europe