Day 5 no nicotine and I haven't killed my

Day 5 no nicotine and I haven't killed my husband. Yet. Boo-Yah!

Day 8 Cigarettes are appearing in my dreams. My husband is snoring. As a premptive measure, I have put a padlock on my kitchen knives. Repeat the mantra. 'Smoking bad! Don't kill!'

Day 9 This morning my husband accused me of cheating & showed me a half empty pack of slims.I said "It wasn't me! & how dare you tempt me!"Also a mystery:who sharpened our cutlery?

Day 11-Husband texted 100 sad smilies saying he still loves me-will I take him back?Largest butcher knife and grapefruit knife missing this a.m. from mysteriously sharpened cutlery

dreamcatcher. "At least he left the bazooka," I thought as I climbed onto the stool and grabbed it. Day 12-Found husband's receipt for 10 jugs of bleach and a jumbo trash can. What

would an agoraphobic entomologist want with those? I asked myself. Made a note to follow the bastard the next time he left the house - which, as far as I knew, was never. Day 13 -

But just as i doubted he would leave, he left. And I followed him. I didn't understand it he was just acting normal. Maybe he wasn't as

innocent as he'd let me believe. Then I saw him edge into a darkened alley up ahead. Ah-ha...something was rotten in Denmark for sure. Sneaking silently into the alley, I saw him

crouch behind a garbage can flashing his laser to a window above. A woman moved the curtains back and fired two shots at his head. At last, the horror story was over and I was safe