He squeezed the pimple. It was deep under

He squeezed the pimple. It was deep under the skin. It wasn't ready. His eyes watered, he wanted to cry out

for Tyra Banks to get him some Proactiv, the kind with the green tea moisturizer. But he was a man now, and his hunting buddies would frown upon that sort of thing, so he shot a

few rounds into her gut and stole the Proactiv from her cooling grip. If he stole it, then no one could think he was a wuss. The murdering also added points to his masculinity...

Oh that sweet, sweet Proactiv. Now that he had it, pimples would be a thing of the past. Babes dig pimpleless guys, they'd be all over him before he could blink. So he took the

his personality,. which had always been a bit more prickly and pimply than he would have liked. He thought back to the time he picked the legs off a centipede (took for-e-ver) and

in the end it was still "she loves me not". It took him another month before he worked up the courage to pass her a note in class. Miss Banks intercepted it & read it aloud, "

if I had a penny for my thoughts I'd have one penny, because i only think about one thing-you,” Miss Banks read as the class laughed.He was mortified.Miss Banks was going to pay.

He told his parents who then filed a law suit against Miss Banks for hitting on their prepubescent son. Secretly though, Ike was in love with her and felt bad for causing so much

horrid remembrances for a puerile and frankly uninspired television show whose premise wore out after just four or five episodes. So I shut the television off and read something.