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When the Swedish Pirate Party won a majority

  • When the Swedish Pirate Party won a majority in parliament, all hell broke lose. The treasury went from the euro to the pieces-of-eight and doubloons.

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  • Coin collectors topped the incumbent Swedish Pirate Party's Most Wanted list. Agneta Christoffer was shanghaied; her beloved pesos de ochos and obverse display cases were pilfered.

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  • Agneta Christoffer was triple-fired for insubordination.

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  • I liked using little stories like these to teach my kids moral lessons. Give 'em an inch, they'll take a mile. Believe you me, if I allowed my son Wolfgang to do whatever he wanted

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  • he'd be the lead singer in that midget drag Village People cover band. Wolfgang was a good kid, so I felt bad grounding him when he put the kitten in the oven. It's just a phase,

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  • and frankly, it IS a kitten. Sure, they start out cute, but then eventually evolve into a cat, and does this world REALLY need another cat? So Wolfgang's putting it in the oven

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  • did nothing for Dr. Angry Pants. In fact Dr. Pants was a feline fancier, so the notion that someone would want to harm a kitty upset him so much he coughed up a giant hairball.

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  • He then batted all the toilet paper off the roll in the bathroom. All the kitties in the local pound would be adopted, or his name wasn't Dr. Angry Pants! He got a little red wagon

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  • and pimped that bitch up with 6 inch spinners - if he wasn't going to be adopted, then he'd Gangsta the shizzle out of this pound. But he never knew that was exactly what the next

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  • half-man half-fridge cyborg was expecting to happen, and before he could blink an eye, he got popsicled. Brain freeze followed, a car alarm sounded, then a bird pecked at a tree.

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