Oh, I'm not a professional stripper. No,

Oh, I'm not a professional stripper. No, I'm just doing this to get through medical school. I just do this for a little extra money. You know...to pay for my books and lab fees.

Janis looked at Boom-da-Rocka in the mirror. "I really have to say that to those losers while I do a lap dance?" Boom nodded, "Yeah, they all want to believe they got the smart

stripper." "I'm smart" Janis insisted poutily. "I know, honey" Boom soothed. "You'll do great." Janis had been confident, but now, heading to the stage, Aerosmith blaring, she felt

that there was more to life, even if she wouldn't admit it. Soon, Janis and Boom left Las Vegas and headed for

cooler climes. They ended up in Timbuktu grifting tourists for all that they were worth. It got hot again and they high tailed it to Ibiza for a month. Janis didn't see Boom in

the next six years, and in fact Janis didn't recognize any of the channels they got in Ibiza. Turning to her fat father, she had to ask if there was anything to do in the country

besides eating fattening food. Janis' fat father turned to her and said, "You should stop complaining and count yourself lucky to have all this fine Ibizian food to eat. Starving

people need vegan food. So after dinner was consumed, Janis decided to give away some canned veggies to the local food bank. Freerice.com was her new favorite game.

But the vegans revolted, demanding salmon roe and mozzarella cheese. They invaded the stores, they harassed the waitresses, and they totally missed the point of being vegan, all in

one night. As they began to collapse from the pure exhaustion of a hard work day, they fell into beautiful dreams of vegans ruling the world, enforcing their beliefs on all.