The girl from Ipanema wasn't as he imagined

The girl from Ipanema wasn't as he imagined her. Gentle like a summer samba. He waited for her in the bar. Each day a girl passed, but it wasn't her.

He became a fixture, like a Tiki idol or a wicker chair. Always at the same place, always ordering a Blue Hawaiian. He waited for the girl from Ipanema's smile. On another isle,

the man from U.N.C.L.E. was deep undercover posing as a snorkeling guide. He had his quarry in his sights when the girl from Ipanema started yelling Shark! Shark! He had to chose

between killing the girl from D.R.U.N.K. U.N.C.L.E. a competing undercover agency or risk exposing that the shark was a mechanical paper shredder/aquatic time machine

lies the golden mean: killing sharks with paper shredders while girls get exposed by their drunk uncles. Nobody could complain about

how this party had ended up, really. Who didn't want to send sharks to the shredder? And as the seconds clicked down to midnight, everyone knew why they were really here

which was to shred endangered animals at midnight. "What a way to ring in the new year!" said Miss Oxymoron at the Anti Biodiversity Society Ball. Her face was splattered with

The other voice in her head disagreed. "This is so much fun! I can't wait to do it again!" She looked around for another victim. Then she heard her dead mother calling, "Dorothy! I

don't think I'm in Heaven anymore." "Well, bummer," Dorothy thought to herself. Now that Mom was back, she wouldn't be able to kill anyone. Time to clean her room.