You waited two hours for that bitch to show

You waited two hours for that bitch to show up. Two hours in a strange city, eating strange food in her strange apartment. You would think that when a woman says that she'll meet y

early with you, she'd show up on the pre-arranged date. But no. No, that woman can take her strange food, her strange apartment and her strange city and shove it up her

where the sun don't shine. I picked up my phone and defriended her on Facebook. Ha! Take that! Now I was hungry so I looked into ordering some kind of food I at least recognised.

on it as soon as possible, fretting its staleness would steal more joy from the moment of failure realization. Rationalization followed, as I thoughtfully chewed the burnt piece of

toast, my taste buds ignoring the bitter taste as I savored the mere thought of...that was just it. Suddenly I couldn't remember a thing. What was happening? Was I even real?

Mama mia let me go!

The raw sushi looked so gross I couldn't look at it again. The food poisoners were at work and were not allowed to criticize the pools of dyed in the wool fish. Too many lampreys!

And too little time! I stepped down off my perch and helped an elderly lady push through the hordes of bottom feeders towards the fresh outdoor air. My lunch was sloshing around

desperately trying to find it's way out, too. Once outside, Granny and I took in the clean air like camels at an oasis take in water. Granny fried up some bottom feeders for lunch.