Litze emerged sobbing from the cafe's bathroom.

Litze emerged sobbing from the cafe's bathroom. She was just off the bus from Estonia and hadn't seen a flushing toilet in 2 years. Budapest was paradise

city and Hungary was its Axel Rose. Litze sobbed on the counter. She wept on banana nut muffins. She bawled on the espresso machine. She sniveled on the barrista. She yowled on the

Danube under a leathery moon flicking at the water with a big toe as she draped a foot over the side of the boat. That is until a Jesus lizard walked up that big toe and planted a

kiss on it. And this was how Karl the Face on My Toe came to be. Karl and the lizard dated for a while, but the lizard got bored with him quickly, as all he could do was to stare

plaintively at the wall as the sun slowly set, casting the room into total darkness. So the lizard dated an onion farmer and went on to far greater things in life. Karl the Face

was confused at first but, in the end he was understanding. This human-lizard relationship was normal in the south. Which was were the lizard-man's spouse lived on their onion farm

. It all began three weeks ago. Lizard-man was smitten by the farmer's daughter who was riding a big green tractor down a dirt road drinking ice cold beer. And she was smitten back

The farmers daughter had heard the legend of the lizard man's tongue. Unfortunately her father disapproved and had access to shotguns, so she and the lizard man decided to kill him

cher whose fastball strayed into the stands & split the farmer's head open ended up walking the hitter, which cost their team the game. But they were allowed to keep the ball, so…