The police broke into what they thought was

The police broke into what they thought was a meth lab, but were surprised to find a guy in dark blue robes and a pointy hat holding a glowing alembic. "The Philosopher's

strings" he called them. As the police inched closer, the wizard like guitarist gradually turned up the volume on the amps, until the static was too much for the police to handle.

And that's how the mall cops' attempt to show the town how brave they were ended. Quick and lame. Chased away by Adult Contemporary music professionals.

I know. No one would suspect how truly fierce Adult Contemporary musicians can be. Especially Adele and Carly Rae Jepson. The are SCARY. The whole town was afraid of them.

That is why they made sure there were no stages, or concert halls, or any place musicians could make themselves heard in the whole town. The town feared musicians so much that

they boarded up their windows and doors, ear plug sales sky rocketed and sheet music was burned in a massive bonfire. The town suffered when MTV started broadcasting

A reality show filmed in one house. The noise kept everyone awake until 3am. Were it not for the ear plugs, we would have not slept at all. The cats slept through the whole thing.

To sum up: Pete's wife had secretly divorced him, keeping custody of the kids, and then eloped with a traveling roofer but leaving the kids with her brother who was't an Indian but

played one on TV and liked the kids a lot, and they liked him. Pete's ex-wife later secretly divorced the roofer and married her brother to be with her kids, who didn't like her.