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The beautiful lady with long blonde hair

  • The beautiful lady with long blonde hair walked into the hotel with her luggage. She was on holiday in North Korea and everywhere she went

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  • people stared at her. For she was not only beautiful, but had three breasts. While this disgusted many women, it continued to arouse men: they would fall at her feet, believing

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  • that this beautiful creature with an odd-number of tits, would somehow bring a most envied status quo and great happiness and good fortune. It was not so. I should know

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  • , for I am her son. When I was born and literally faced with not two but seven breasts from which to suckle, I was overwhelmed, not to mention overfed. My mother was a anomaly

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  • budded from the vast form of grandmammy Moloch, the bitch with incalculable teats. Infinity cow. Mum's 7 milkers made me massive and strong, and I conquered lands from Grenada to

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  • Canada. I was the Thunder Calf. As Thunder Calf I had to accomplish 12 labors before I could enter the Pasture on Olympus. First, I locked horns with the Veal Industry.

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  • Mr. Veal was a nice enough man and was willing to help me get to Mt. Olympus faster. He knew the direct route. I felt so lucky! Mr. Beef was more challenging. The final countdown

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  • was playing on the TV in the cook's lounge when I passed through into the meat locker where I would be fighting Mr. Beef. I didn't know if I was Kirk Douglas or Martin Sheen.

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  • I also didn't know up from down or shit from Shinola. That's what made me such a great fighter. I just did what I was told. "Punch him, Beef!" they'd yell, and I did. But Ham was

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  • my sensei from a former life. We stared each other down, and then that subtle nod in five twelve time just slipped out. We gave them a bloody show, but I got back on the path.

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1 Comments

  1. Woab May 20 2017 @ 09:42

    What a meaty tale.

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