It's a true tale worth retelling. That of

It's a true tale worth retelling. That of Ichabod and Susanna. Let their demise not be wasted, for their mistakes should not be your own. Recall their meeting upon the wharf at

Illyria. They were boarding a ketch bound for the Spice Islands, there to make their fortunes in mace & nutmeg. Ichabod & Susanna were married by the Captain crossing the equator

and everyone on board was in attendance, including Posh, Baby, &Sporty, who were making their way back home. Ichabod & Susanna were in a blissful haze after their nuptials, but

their honeymoon ended suddenly when an immense asteroid collided with the moon. While an amazing curiosity to the ignorant majority, Ichabod and Susanna found the incident ominous.

But they ignored it like every other married couple. Ichabod and Susanna intuitively knew what all couples know, any acknowledgement of ominous signs is the opposite of love.

Susanna was the ultimate master of this. When Ichabod would stagger home at 3 a.m. caked in lipstick, he wouldn't register on Susanna's visual spectrum. Total ominousness denial.

Unfortunately Susanna was not a master of visual perception, so she had to get her eyes tested. In the middle of the night she crept past Ichabod's room and out the door to visit

The eye doctor, who was also a witch. Susanna obtained special glasses and had 20/20 vision the rest of her life. Ichabod never figured it out because he slept through it all.

"O Susanna, o don't you cry for me," the eye/witch doctor would sing whenever he thought of his great success solving Susanna's eye problems. Then he would dance around the fire