Late one night by candlelight, Jadie said

Late one night by candlelight, Jadie said "The children have outgrown us." Joe nuzzled her. "Not quite yet, but almost. I think Jake can levitate." Jadie said "Yeah, and Marie can

telepathically juggle the 3 of us. "If we weren't too proud to join the circus, we could afford a 3rd child," Joe told Jadie. Jake would float away from these talks, trading chakra

as a day trader was super stressful. His eyes looked like festering bullet holes, his lips like cracked pavement. Joe was losing it and Jadie had decided she wasn't going to stick

a crowbar into his navel after all. I'd seen all the movies, but still..."OK, let's reason this out. Let's be civil." I lit a fake clove cig and leaned against the morgue door.

The morgue assistant said, "NO smoking, please. Health & safety." "Oh, for,.." I spluttered, "I can't think without my cig. Do you want this crime solved or not?" He gave me a look

"So I could do this," I said, and swept the morgue assistant into my arms. We revelled in our newfound passion for each other on the coffin that held ol' Mr Schmidt's corpse

. Morgue assistants are easy. I can't even count the morticians I've hopped in the sack with. I needed something new. Maybe the movie industry. I wondered if best boy grips put out

? I didn't have to wait long to find out. Strong arms reached around me from behind & I felt the tickle of a mustache & warm breath on my nape. "I'm your best boy," a raspy voice

slid itself into my auditory senses, with my eyes falling shut I reached back to feel two more arms. "What? But how is th.." I opened my eyes and turned round to face the octopus.