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I received a memo from my boss entirely in

  • I received a memo from my boss entirely in webdings. It was marked as URGENT, naturally. I ignored it, thinking it was a joke, but I'd forgotten that my boss is insane. The next da

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  • y she called me to ask why I hadn't put through her urgent order for paper clips. "Was that the one written in webdings?" I asked. "It wasn't webdings, it was comic sans," she fume

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  • d. "You're fired." she said & hung up on me. I wasn't surprised. This was my 5th job in as many months. Now I'd be the first to admit that I'm not the sharpest pencil in the pencil

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  • or the sharpest bulb in a box. I sometimes get my motts thuddled so that I jump from subject to subject and sometimes lose my train of thought, but other than that

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  • I only tend to ramble on for extended periods about my cognitive impairments when I'm feeling flustered by things I can't handle like everyday human interaction or eating ice cream

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  • with chop sticks. Otherwise I keep my deficiencies to myself, if I even acknowledge them at all. If I'm feeling relaxed and confident, I may be more likely to smile and nod while

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  • other people smile & nod while keeping their deficiencies to themselves. When I get past my existential myopia,it's easier to venture something like, "Sup?" or "How's the weather?"

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  • than to go off on some diatribe about Russian literature or Modern Monetary Policy. It's a real wonder I keep to myself these days, pissing away my time reading obscure weblogs,

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  • The coffee stays hot for three hours.

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  • Three hours of absolute boredom. This is it. I quit.

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