"I swear, I just wanted to buy a kite! Rapul's
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"I swear, I just wanted to buy a kite! Rapul's got the best!" "Sure, sure, fine. But the Taliban are never going to believe that. You better leave out the back; fast." I ran for
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my beloved hampster, Fetus, and decided that the only way that n00b was going to have a sufficient story for the Taliban's questioning of buying a kite is if they tie poor Fetus to
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one end of my kite and have Benjamin Franklin himself fly it in a thunderstorm. I don't know who the obese geriatric who took my hampster Fetus was, but the kite was bright yellow.
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My hampster was all I had in this cruel world. That's why I had always sealed in a
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jar fur clippings from when I shaved my hampster. One day I came home to find someone had broken in and stolen my jars of hamster fur. I wondered who could help me find my jars.
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The only person qualified for this job was a private detective who specialized in furry investigations. Who else would truly understand how distraught I was over the missing
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box of furry condom. I mean, seriously, those things are huge in order to fit over a mascot's phallus; not to mention hard to find and incredibly expensive. But oh, furry sex is
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so warm and cozy. It almost reminds me of hugging a bunch of kittens while naked. I went to 5 petstores asking for furry condoms, until the police finally showed up in the parking
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lot. Apparently zoosexual activity is illegal in 47 states and a felony in South Carolina. The police wanted to take me in for questioning, so I requested furry handcuffs, which
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the police thought was quite funny. So funny, in fact, that they let me go home...home to South Carolina, where Cougars run wild in Charleston and Cocks are the norm in Columbia.
2
- Started
- 2013-01-18 18:31:45
- Finished
- 2013-03-20 21:20:17
11 Comments
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49erFaithful Mar 21 2013 @ 12:23
At some point the South Carolina Gamecocks must have played the Oregon State Beavers in some sport or other. The play-by-play broadcast would be pretty funny.
inatick Mar 21 2013 @ 13:14
Have you seen the Mywifeknowseverything vs Mywifedoesn'tknow horse race?
49erFaithful Mar 21 2013 @ 13:24
No but I'll YouTube it!
49erFaithful Mar 21 2013 @ 13:32
Well played. Apparently the USC Trojans have battled the Beavers before with double entendres aplenty.
MangoMania Mar 22 2013 @ 11:20
The Trojans couldn't penetrate the Beaver's defensive line to score. Tehehe
49erFaithful Mar 22 2013 @ 12:26
Have you been reading my personal journal again Mango?
MangoMania Mar 22 2013 @ 12:42
again... I never stopped.
49erFaithful Mar 22 2013 @ 13:53
Any recommendations about what I should do about the Cindy situation then?
MangoMania Mar 28 2013 @ 13:52
Sorry for the late response, I was taking a hiatus from folding. As for Cindy, it is really hard to train an adult dog to stop peeing inside and much easier to train a puppy. Yes, puppies can be annoying, but it is rare for someone to give up a well trained dog. My advice, trade Cindy in for a younger model.
49erFaithful Mar 28 2013 @ 16:13
Lol, thanks! Bold move.
MangoMania Mar 28 2013 @ 16:52
I am curious who Cindy is, maybe I'll start a fold about her....or him.