I slew a dragon. But the policeman didn't

I slew a dragon. But the policeman didn't believe me. He finished handcuffing me and slammed me into the back of the police van. "This one is crazy!" said one of the officers.

"You've got to believe me! I didn't torch the house! There was this dragon!" As I bumped down the road in the back of the paddy wagon, I tried to open my cuffs, "Metalico Perdiso!"

Curse that bloody dragon! It had fooled me once before. This time I vowed it wouldn't get away. I began to walk

around the corner, but a big bucket of swedish fish in the window of the candy store caught my eye. I could not resist. I flung the door open and began eating handfuls of the

wonderful squishy strawberry fishy-goodness! I prefer "Screaming Yellow Zonkers" and "Nerds" but this will have to do. Once my sugar high kicked in, I jumped into my bat mobile

sat down, and took a breath. High school was just too much sometimes. Covered in mustard, fake Cesar dressing, and aged ice cream,

the chicken patties just weren't as good as the ones at Fillmore Elementary. It was time to invest in a lunchbox. But what to pack? PB&J was a safe choice, as were Dunk-a-roos and

that sticky white goo that they put in Twinkies. Miracle Whip would do in a pinch, though I preferred the taste of mayonnaise. A dollop of chocolate syrup and a little paprika

should be enough to bring forth the storm of the apocalypse, a twister so violent and strong that it travels the entire planet in one night. Twinkies, white goo of DOOM!