The Ocelot went hunting.

FOR HUMAN FLESH.

Dun-Dun-DAAHHH!! What a twist! (and so early in the story.) Who knew that what was supposed to be a delightful romp turned to CANNIBALISM? Read no further! unless you are willing

to know the juicy details. Ahh... I see I've whetted your appetite for the tale: "I suppose I can break Lent to rid the world of a cannibal. Thank God it's Friday. " said Crusoe

but then Crusoe thought about the term "Juicy Details." Werid. Describing facts with food adjectives. As if you could eat facts. Like facts were steaks, or fruit. He was still hun-

dreds of dollars down at the blackjack table, so he thought he'd try to make some of it back at the buffet. Heh, $24.95 for 2 hours of all-you-can eat seafood? The House was about

5 foot 9, and he was a real dick. I don't know how he got a job as a doctor, and he kept popping pills. I soon said "fuck this noise" and swaggered off. And I didn't PAY, neither.

Now, I don't want you getting the idea that I had a problem with this particular doctor. It's a stressful job and putting vodka on their cornflakes is a coping mechanism many medic

ical professionals practice. Vodka is also a great relaxer when inhaled through an nebulizer. But, I digress...This particular doctor,with whom I do not have a problem, sent me

a bottle of Diaka Vodka and a diamond encrusted nebulizer & asked me to meet him at 3 a.m. in the janitor's closet. I did & we've been drinking...er, BREATHING together ever since.