One time, there were two men, who ran a beauty

One time, there were two men, who ran a beauty parlor, three doors down from the evangelical "Four Square Church and Tabernacle." It had been five days since the six o'clock

news vans had been parked outside, doing one interview after another with the religious crazies getting their hair coiffed. It was quite a fuss for such a town. The male stylists

were overjoyed at the opportunity to put really really big hair on actual women. The fumes of Aqua Net were overpowering. Pastor Elinore began to feel woozy and

died. right there in front of everyone. then his pet chicken ate my brother.

It wasn't like my brother wasn't deserving. He was annoying as hell and was constantly provoking animals into attacking them, then defending himself with blade or bullet. The pet

rock was impervious to harassment. In frustration he threw it out the window. It cracked the windshield of a black escalade. Five richly dressed hoodlums jumped out. They saw my

gun and laughed. "What are you gonna do with that toy"? Sure let them laugh, they had no idea what I was hiding in my trunk

. That's right, two fantastic double stuffed Oreos. All in their sugary and gluttonous glory. The diabetics couldn't stand a chance. I decided to

fellatio, I thought. That would hit the spot. Okay, & milk. (GOT to get my head out of the gutter. Do you know where milk comes from?) Then again, being double double stuffed might