The ER Doc asked me"What Happened" "Well"

The ER Doc asked me"What Happened" "Well" I started "It's been ages since I've had sex so when so I took two Viagra. Then worrying about a heart attack I took three Nitroglycerin

It was fine until I started ejaculating. Nitroglycerin is highly unstable don't you know, and the fact that I wasn't wearing a condom made it all the worse for her. I just have

this weird feeling that too much explosive sex could lead to my own death, and not just the deaths of every woman I pair with. "Nothing good comes from Nitroglycerin semen" I said

to the Holy Father. "My son" he replied, "The Lord has bestowed upon you a gift. An unseemly, grotesque and often deadly gift. I'd like you to meet a man who can help you exploit

your... unique talents." A tall man wearing a dark blue robe stepped out of the shadows. His eyes were hidden, but a thin smile was visible beneath his hood.

PLUCK my WICK from this candle I'm holding. Christ, get your mind out of the gutter." Sighing with relief at the prospect of getting to apply my community-college degree, I set to

pulling dolphins out of the ocean, dragging them back to Dallas, and having them pluck his wick. "Damn it," I thought, "this isn't why I studied marine biology." But

he felt it necessary that dolphins be self-sufficient in candlestick making. They were limited because of their fins and the dryness of Dallas, but with proper training, they made

excellent helpers for the handicapped Amish people that lived in Dallas. Soon none of them would go without the help they needed again. The dolphin home nursing service was ready.