It all started with a fight on New Year's

It all started with a fight on New Year's Eve. Who would have thought a cup of noodles had so much power? I still have 3rd-degree burns. My phace and L bowz stil hab da bern.

The workers at the cup of noodles power plant had neglected safety standards. Ever since it was discovered that a cup of noodles could provide

temporary sustenance to paying customers who couldn't afford a whole bowl of noodles, the management at Conquest Noodles did the math and went with cups. Unfortunately, a news item

on the front page blasted the noodle shop the very next day for microwaving these new smaller portion cups. They immediately switched to Noodles-In-A-Keg. "Phō-stands", the college

de that "We can civilize your reindeer!" It was a general, slightly misleading statement anyway. Especially since we specialize in civilizing mentally ill reindeer. P.C.? Probs not

. "No sir. The reindeer do not need to be civilized!" shouted the fat bearded man in the red suit. The fat bearded man did not like what the psychiatrist was implying.

The fat bearded man did not like much of anything these days. His liver was cirrhotic and he still pined for "Lips" Jolie. Billy Bob stumbled, stood and swayed, and punched a glass

window. He cradled his cut up bloody fist... then he had a thought. Billy Bob called up an African dictator & ordered a shipment of orphans. He called Jolie. "I've got a gift for y

ou. This will answer all your questions." Jodie threw the phone into the river and walked away. "Never," she thought.