Chernov fumed. "Oh sure, don't worry, the

Chernov fumed. "Oh sure, don't worry, the asteroid will miss us by thousands of miles -- but then they get the transit time wrong by several hours?!! What kind of

slide rules are they using over there anyway?" Those solar-powered slide rules manufactured in Myanmar had been failing reliability tests for years, not just during solar eclipses.

It wasn't until scientists decided to make them battery-powered did real advances begin to occur. Now mathematics students were able to make the calculations they needed to so that

they could proudly wear Casio digital watches with mini-calculator, stop watch, and alarm. Living on the edge, they ditched their pocket protectors and slide rules. The students

would continue to rob consumer freedoms under the guise of "If it's electronic, you wouldn't understand!" which is how gizmo pricing also works. Thanks, Steve Jobs. For nothing.

Nothing except the iPhone5c. Now electronic newbies could describe their devices by colour just like vehicles. For example, "I really liked the red car more than the green

one." It simplified things big time. This was it: we had too many names for everything, confusing everyone, man. Someday we will say a novel with a single word. Welcome to Apple.

At first, it really did seem like a fine, fine idea. But we didn't take verbosity into account. Some people really like to use two words (or even three) when one will do. So we

Discretely rolled our eyes and put on our best listening smile while the captain finished telling the last story of this night. All so we could finally put on our wings and fly.