Before I could stop myself, I jumped over

Before I could stop myself, I jumped over and hugged him, then jerked back and bounced on my heels. He looked amused and flustered at the same time. Surprised and elated, he put

my prescription on the counter and asked me to sign for it. The free blood pressure machine was empty and asking for it. I high-fived a woman looking at wart removers

and tried to ignore her seeping ringworm lesions as I eyed a bottle of Purel on the shelf. I heard a voice in the other aisle; it was my long lost

tried to cover them with band-aids when working at the organic farmers market. Anyone who rolls naked in dirty shower stalls can contract ringworm, but you don't want to

take those kinds of chances, do you? No, I thought not. In fact I think it's best if we just slowly back away. Maybe not mention this to Grandpa. He didn't

need another scare like the last time he found out about how you chickened out of base jumping. Grandpa is a man who prides himself and his family on being "he-men" if he finds

out that you actually have chicken blood mother's side he might make you into a pot roast. Grandpa goes volcano diving, and uses electric eels for

surprising fellow passengers on the train. It's like getting a soggy phallic backhand across the mouth, accompanied by an electric discharge that leaves a disfiguring mark. The eel

could not be blamed for this; it was his nature. Such surprises are neither expected nor welcome in First Class coaches. Yes, there would be a letter to the Editor about this.