Apologies for my inevitable rambling account

  • Apologies for my inevitable rambling account of my best friend Frank, but there's so much to say that it's going to be difficult to put it in any sort of order whatsoever. Frank is

  • , well, frankly-speaking, a hot dog. Before he came along, I was nothing but a German cabbage fermenting in a vat of lactic acid bacteria. No one really liked me, but Frank made me

  • his side dish. We were Frank & Cole. We came out strong, me with my sour disposition and Frank with his meaty kielbasa attitude. Ironically we did kill the CEO, a Mr. Oscar Meier

  • Waynar. Our cover was that he choked on a grape, but Frank and I knew the gristly truth. Still, we were in a bit of a pickle since the Weinermobile was the only place that we could

  • ketchup with our friend, Bob Evans, who (contrary to popular belief) did not live down on the farm. He lived with us in our Weinermobile. So Frank, Bob, & I drove off together,

  • just like in Thelma and Louise, except it was Frank, Bob and myself.

  • ..but instead of speeding through cowboy country and ultimately careening into a canyon, Frank, Bob, and I took a turn north into Canada and encountered a wily Canuck.

  • "Yukon gold! Nuggets as big as your fists! Yeehaw!" he said. We immediately took a hard right and canoed to Nova Scotia. Cold as a witches teet it was, but we had nowhere else to

  • Settle. All this equipment was weighing us down as we passed through the mountain range. Wolves howl in the distance, their glorious speech inspiring me to trek onward.

  • As we approached the summit, the aurora shone brilliantly above us, reminding us all of just how tiny and pathetic we are in the vastness of space and time. We were truly humbled.



  1. KieferSkunk May 06 2015 @ 13:45

    Heh, wow. That really is a rather rambling account of RoboRoach's friend Frank. Rather profound when you think about it.

  2. SlimWhitman May 06 2015 @ 15:07

    Like all the best road stories.

  3. RoboRoach May 07 2015 @ 00:22

    Somehow I just knew there would be some rambling twists and turns.

  4. Chaz May 13 2015 @ 06:11

    I knew I should have taken that left turn in Ottawa.

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