I picked up Rosy on a run to Jacksonville.

I picked up Rosy on a run to Jacksonville. ME:"Where ya headed,hun?". R:"North,South Carolina." ME:"Where's that? R:"Norths about 90 miles southeast of Due West". ME:"Hold on a sec

I need to text while I drive. R: Loook out!!!! Me: Craaaaap! R: Oh my god. ME: Is that blood or vomit? R: Neither. ME: What's that smell? R: Where's the radio antennae?

stickiness spreading under my seat. Oh crap. Not only is there no radio signal in hell, but there is no toilet paper either. Nor are there any Depends. So there we were scared sh**

less and Satan started rapping on the toilet door, asking how long we'd be. I improvised. "Probably quite some time, you know it's quite scary here. Is there another toilet you cou

ld go to in your time of need?" There was a shuffling of newspaper and seven grunts of disgust as the clacking of Satan's quadruped claws stormed off. We remain stuck in Hell's lav

atory with its eternally overflowing toilets and wel dressed attendant spraying sickly sweet cologne until our nostrils bled. "Oh shit!" I exclaimed as I realized my diareah had re

Arranged the bathroom. Pete Shelley of the Buzzcocks started to sing their famous song of the same title. I had no idea there was such a song! It made me feel better after all

that money I had thrown away on peepshows because of The Tubes and their evil song, "She a beauty". But then it made me sad again. I put my finger in a Coke bottle. Didn't help.

I put my toe in my belly button. At least that kept the neighbor kids away. So it wasn't all bad.