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With a trembling hand, I traced out the pentagram

  • With a trembling hand, I traced out the pentagram and press play on my iPod. The chant echoed through my parent's basement. My eyes went funny. I saw

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  • visions of Steve Jobs dancing in my head. He was introducing new products, the iScream, the iYouD and also something called

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  • Ipeed. The Ipeed would keep track of your blood sugar by testing you urine. It was worn like a condom and gave you a shock when your blood sugar got to high. Some men liked this

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  • kind of story telling because they have latent sadomasochistic gremlins rumbling around inside of them but they got married too young to woman who can't orgasm, as a result

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  • they were often confused by the world. Their testicles a verdant hue of vermillion, the gremlins just kept

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  • shifting their weight from side to side with their knees apart, swinging their vermilion gremlin nuts back and forth, back and forth. Most would call it repugnant but I think

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  • pendulous attraction and so I incorporated it into my off broadway musical remake of "The Gremlins". The swinging balls chorus line was a big hit and

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  • the audience frequently got sprayed with water which was fun. The downside of doing a Gremlins musical is

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  • definitely having to work with Hulk Hogan, who insists that everyone refer to him as "Mr. Hollywood-Hulk" and occupies the bathroom for hours at a time. The grunts and groans from

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  • brooke hogan signifies that her career had truly ended.

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