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There are several preparations you need to

  • There are several preparations you need to make before bringing your werewolfwoman home, first

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  • don't. Just bloody don't. You see these scars? Yeah. No werewolfwoman is worth it. They just end up leaving you for a lean steak anyway. But if you feel you must, heed these words;

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  • "the heart is real, but the soul is not, in 'turn for the body the soul is sought, the curse of the werewolf will be brought. So save the heart but kill the soul and the curse will

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  • turn into a furry vole." The audience was quiet. They didn't appreciate Wolfie's soul-searching poetry. "Next" said the stage manager. But Wolfie's heart was wounded. He grew claws

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  • and bared his teeth in anger as he approached the edge of the stage. "I poured out my heart and soul into that sonnet, man. You corporate slugs don't know the value of true art."

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  • His audience grew nervous. One snuck away for the guards. But he was still at it. "My genius is unappreciated in my time! I WROTE THAT SONNET IN BLOOD AND SWEAT!" he said shrilly

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  • A beam of light shone from above. Everyone gasped. The Cat in the Hat appeared from the light. "Allow me to show you how it's done," he purred. "The sun did not shine, it was too

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  • sick. The planets whined, 'The sun's a dick!'" The audience booed at him with such fury that the Cat in the Hat left the stage in a hurry! Nobody stayed to see the rest of the sh

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  • ow. Nobody even bothered to come back for the next show. Who knows if they will ever come back again?

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  • "Of course they will," said Perky Pickles. "Or maybe not," said Alistair. So the next evening they walked the stage and said their lines, and the vibe of the ceremony was fine.

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