"Hello, People's Choice Bank. This is Dirk

"Hello, People's Choice Bank. This is Dirk speaking. How may I help you?" "Yeah, uh hi. Please get a bag of small bills ready 1000$ is fine. We'll be by to rob the bank later today

The teller handed him a neatly creased paper bag. "Thank you for robbing from this establishment! Please take the quick survey to evaluate our customer service."

The bank robber didn't want to fill out the customer service survey, but he felt guilty. The teller had been so polite about the robbery. He gave "excellence's" in all categories e

xcept 'inventory.' He was hoping to get some silver buffalo's or state quarters for his coin collection, but there were nothing but large bills in the vault. "Let's hit the next

blue car that drives by with one of these giant sacks of cash." That's what I loved about my partner. He always knew how to turn a disappointment into a success. Just as a blue Kia

ran him over, killing him instantly. So, I got the bag of cash, but I wasted it and OD'd. This is how I found out that my lucky-ass partner was assistant manager in heaven. I asked

if the pearly gates were made of real pearl. Apparently they are not. I was promptly thrown out as fast as you can say "Kalamazoo". I needed more cash fast

so I called J.G. Wentworth, since "now" was a fast enough form of cash acquisition for me. A viking answered the phone. "You know we can just raid heaven. God hides a gold stash in

the Ark of the Covenant." Well hell, a lot good that does me. I wonder where Satan hides his?