Monday is the worst day of the week for a

Monday is the worst day of the week for a good reason. Tuesday follows it. All day Monday you sit and squirm in the horrific knowledge that tomorrow will eventually arrive. If you

don't listen to some pump-up music, Monday Milking will destroy your soul. The late Bessie's wisdom still resonated through the hearts of us cows. I put in my earbuds as Farmer Joe

(Ugliy Kid Joe's Father) brought out the pails. Bessei's teets gleamed in the sun. They were primed and dewy. My forearm veins stood erect like jungle vines. It was pumping time

I pumped tin. That's what I called my bench pressing. I'd filled the tomato cans with sand.The Andy Warhol tattoo bulged on my pasty biceps. Kid Joe's dad milked Bessie's teets

. The endolphins were swimming round my bloodstream. I experienced a testosterone surge and threw my soup tins at the wall. They exploded and I could see my Mother's face staring

at nothing. A soup can had embedded itself in her forehead and she was...not dead...but stunned. But I had other things to worry about at the moment. The endolphins gave me a rush

even though I was afraid, very afraid. The soup can was similarly unloading its contents direct into her brain, granting her super soup powers, transforming her into Souperwoman!

The Souperwoman made chicken noodle soup for Jakob's cold. "The old Jewish cure", she said with a smile. Jakob ate it with matzo balls and was reminded of Sam And Hy's restaurant.

Jakob licked his lips and asked for more. Souperwoman graced him with a warm and motherly smile "Of course!" said Souperwoman.