As a lil' corporate shill, I dreamed up ways

As a lil' corporate shill, I dreamed up ways to slip pro-Doritos messages into my oral report on "Lazy B". I tried, "Sandra grew up on a Cool Ranch," but Susie sniffed it out and

Told me to try eating my report instead. After all, it might have tasted like doritos! I took her up on her dare and shoved the paper into my mouth. "This doesn't taste like

any kind of snack I've ever had." he said,his mouth stuffed with my report."That's because it's nacho cheese!" I shouted. I decided to let the chips fall where they may. My doritos

nacho cheese-flavored TPS reports brought all the managers to my yard, and, soon enough, the promotion, corner office and personal secretary I'd always wanted were mine. However,

achieving a 'paperless office' by eating all the cheesy paperwork meant that my secretary and I expanded. Attempting to exit my office, we got fatally stuck together in the doorway

of nothingness. We had no idea that it was attached to the supply closet. My secretary and I became a glittering cloud of atoms traveling through the multiverse's doorways.

The atoms replied their numbers had just multiplied by ten since the time machine was switched on. H.G. Wells was fiddling with the now automated control panels while bringing the

ghost of Alfred Hitchcock up on the time machine's monitor. "Good evening," said the ghost. "Yes, hello," said Wells, "have I reached the future?" "Please leave a message at the

bottom of the dell. The farmer will get back to you shortly." A flock of birds covered his image, leaving Wells to his message. He decided not to go. Future, 'twas a silly place.