The only way to deal with an unfree world

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that one's very existence is an act of rebellion.

If Mary Poppins was honest, Carrie Bradshaw might wear lace up boots but definitely not a dress buttoned up to her neck. Mary Poppins decided she had to show a little more cleavage

so she did it by pulling down her underwear and revealing some more cleavage. That's when Mr Poppins came rushing towards her with a cleaver in his hand. He said 'what do

you recommend I do? The damn thing's blunt as a damp sock. That pork tenderloin won't chop itself." The girl eyed him seductively - the man clearly wasn't getting any of her hints.

She slowly got down on her hands and knees, licking her lips as she did so. She arched her back, tossed her hair, and slowy began moving her hips in a circular motion. Now she

had a few pounds on her. I felt the floor move under my feet. Glasses slid off the bar. The chandelier hung cock-eyed. Her hefty dancing actually shifted Earth's axis, I think.

At the end of the night, which was quite late, she was still throwing her weight around to the music and several apocalypses had come and gone. Widespread flooding, earthquakes, an

d the zombie apocalypse itself. Only 1 thing. The zombie apocalypse was still under way! As she danced to the music, a bunch of zombies began to bang on her windows and door.

But then they stopped. The Zombie Apocalypse had ushered in Zombie Jesus. Zombie Jesus took 144K of the "chosen" back to Zombie heaven and now hell on earth could finally begin.