It's 5 am in the morning and I still haven't

It's 5 am in the morning and I still haven't gotten any sleep yet. The constant reminder of what dad told me kept me awake. What did he mean by "Your mom is a

better dad than me?" I was hip to gender play but ... mom?

"SHUT YER YAPPER!" Mom, er, Dad growled. She carefully applied lipstick. "GAWD AWFUL!" I retorted, once I got over the initial shock. "Doesn't go with plaid flannel!"

"Well it's bring out your inner beast night!" Dad chirped adding fishnets to the plaid flannel gown and a pair of knock me down f@*k me shoes with 8 inch spike in hot pink and teal

and Mom looked incredible in her Mohawk green hair, body painting of Spider-Man over her bare chest, and men's orange Speedo. Inner beast night was always fun and always on a Mon

-key's birthday. Chim-chim was very excited because his birthday was next and he couldn't wait to see what crazy costume Mom would come up with this time. Maybe one with bananas

on the nipples. "Get a little bit of that banana milkshake!" Chim-Chim's Dad smiled at his Mom knowingly. "Bobo! Not in front of Chim-Chim..." but Chim-Chim couldnt care less. He

grabbed a fresh one and chugged so eagerly that some dribbled down his chinny chin chin but he caught it with his tongue just in time. Waste not, want not, thought Chim Chim.

Chim Chim spotted a baboon and the monkey happily ate his hot dog. They exchanged paws. Wasted food was avoided at the last minute. Uncle Joe asked about his lunch and it was gone