The calliope stopped playing. They turned

The calliope stopped playing. They turned their red noses to the batwing doors. A buffoon snarled, "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to bring a creampie to a seltzer fight?"

But this was no regular creampie. Under the whip cream was a new creation. It was called, "the blob." A gelatinous evil sludge that was hungry all the time. The clown planned to

smash this evil pie into the face of Ban Ki Moon. The blob it contained would eat his face in 2, maybe just 1, gulp. Thus destabilised, the world would be at the mercy of the clown

posse. Or so was the agenda. By late 90s, the ICP was no longer a relevant entity, & went the way of the Smashing Pumpkins, Pete & Repete, & pogs. Ban Ki Moon wiped evil whipped cr

eam from the corners of his mouth and stared through the bars. Ban Ki was confused. People said 'be yourself' but every time he was himself he'd get sued or arrested. Every time.

Then he heard them calling him Ban Ki the Donkey behind his back & decided what the hell, put on his skull & crossbones leather jacket & headed out to Pumps in Brooklyn. He woke up

he ended up waking up from a terrible dream that he had

. Cold sweat drenched his clammy body.He swung his feet out of bed to get up & C-R-U-N-C-H...stepped on carpet of broken glass. The nightmare was not over. Aunt Jemima shouted, "

Gotcha! Shoulda seen that comin', boy! Always told ya Home Alone's my favorite movie!" He collapsed to the floor to relieve the pain in his feet, but that only caused glass to