Please please please don't mention New Zealand

Please please please don't mention New Zealand in the following story.

Australia really is the greatest place on Earth. No place else is remotely like it. New zealots show up from time to time, and there's the sea-land lovers who are also new, but

the best Aussie I ever met was this guy on walk about. He had a hat with crocodile teeth on it. A giant knife. He spent some time in New York wooing a journalist in a sub-station

And somehow survived a hellish ride on the subway. He hid his i-phone purposely. Someone asked if he had one, he said no. The would be mugger went to the next car, scared off by

Asian man sitting across the isle. "Thank God for Asians and their Ninja skills," he thought. This gave him an idea - why not join an online ninja academy. He could study while

staying with his family and friends. Plus, he knew ninja skills could come in handy. So he looked it up on Google and sure enough, the online academy was ready to be joined.

the end he graduated now he could start his lama milking company in the heart of NY, NY. He was known as the Dairy Lama. People came from miles around to

Milk him and his llamas but mostly to milk him. Eventually he had to get behind the desk to run the company but he would harbor kind feelings for his time in the troughs of the fee

ly-feelings he recalled when he realized that he, a male llama, could be and was (thoroughly) milked. Much like you, who actually read to the end of this story.