My dad always told me love was tricky to

My dad always told me love was tricky to find, but he forgot to mention how impossible it was to keep.

Divorce. It never gets easier. I thought Mel was the one, but then again I thought the same about Faith and Jenn and Carol. Teary-eyed, the woman I vowed to love hugged me googbye.

"Googbye," I whispered in her ear. She took a step back and glared at me. "Don't you mean goodbye?" Mel asked. "Um, I'm pretty sure it's googbye," I insisted.

She looked at me, sadly, gave me a peck. "Googbye you." And closed the door. When Mel said it, it did sound wrong. Googbye or goodbye? Goog grief, I thought. This is getting out of

hang. "G-whiz!" I thought, relieved that I was finally free of Mel. It was those little things that annoyed me the most about her. I was better off alone. Wasn't I? But Mel invaded

my mind much like Hitler invaded Poland. She stormed in and destroyed every competing thought. I stood on the ruins that were once my mind and flew a white flag. "You win, Mel," I

sighed resignedly. "What do you mean? You absolutely crushed it!" Mel vehemently protested. The other AGT judges agreed. Simon said: "You stomped on your own brain- no one has EVER

Stomped on their own brain before!" The crowd cheered and threw their limbs in the air as the AGT team preened at the contestant. Mel opened her head and said" do what thou whilst"

and she bowed and flaunted her prowess. The crowd went silent. AGT - we knew it was an alien genetic group. If the contests could be won, then there was hope. A hope for humanity.

The humans sent out their champion Luke Eor of Otumwa, Iowa in the Red States of America. The assembled alien races sized Luke up. The alien champion serviced her tertiary male.