That's when Buddha appeared. He wasn't fat

That's when Buddha appeared. He wasn't fat like Chinese renditions. He was a thin Indian dude. "What are you doing here?" John was in the Pizza Hut kitchen making a meat lover's

pizza and "Thin and Indian" Buddha was sitting cross legged on the rolling machine. John had seven minutes to make the pizza and a stupid god was fucking up his chances to win the

Domino's $1,000,000 Employee Performance Challenge! John had no choice but to ignore his god, just this once, and continue. As he reached for the sauce ladle, the winds outside

or he would find himself as a sliced topping ON the pizza. He did not know that this was a condition of the competition until it was too late. Sweating, he chopped pepperoni like

a sausage but then stopped himself. How would a sausage chop pepperoni anyway?

Sure, its remarks were cutting, but

facial expressions were pasty, so he had a sort of Yin Yang thing. He tried to control Agent "C" but that led "C" to become incontinent - couldn't control P in other words.

His life had become a cryptic crossword he could no longer decipher.

Life couldn't be solved by simply adding an "Asta" to his problem. Life, it turned out, was a lot more complicated.