If I jump,

If I jump,

"Break a leg, you said, break a leg," He wished me luck, whether he liked it or not. I jumped. Bitch better catch me or I'll break his leg.

"MERDE!" I hollered when I hit the stage floor. The orchestra stopped. The audience gasped. I was pretty sure my leg WAS broken. His face was expressionless."YOU BITCH!" I screamed

, crumpled on the stage ground. The audience stared at me with wide eyes. It was Merde who broke the silence. "It seems our patient has escaped!" he laughed nervously as I glared.

"What shall we do?" asked a man. "Well...I don't see any use for our friend here..." Merde trailed off. I glared at him again,then a bit more glaring here and there. Then I glared

once more and Merde put on a pair of sunglasses and stuck his tongue out at me as he tried to push me off a bridge. But I wouldn't budge. Then Merde tried to kick me into a volcano

I dodged the kick. Calmly I leaned into toward Merde. "Look Merde," I point out across the sky. Then with a push I launched Merde over a cliff into the sea... and laughed.

Scheiss met his match and neither was heard from again. A white powder was sprinkled by the Fairy on the Eve of the Midwinter Feast. The smell had to be gone by 7pm. And so

The Sniffers were called in from Afghanistan. They were some kind of olfactory special ops unit based in Limburger that somehow got rid of the smell before 7 and saved the day.