People always told me, "Stu, you can't be

  • People always told me, "Stu, you can't be a professional Sudoku solver. That's not even a thing." But I was gonna make it happen. I had logic in my mind, $20 in my pocket, and

  • a bar of soap I promised my mother of I would use only in the most dire need. I trudged down the street in a daze when someone said, "Stu, do klu klux klan members do crosswords?"

  • Well, they definitely use cusswords, don't really know about crosswords. You need to be intelligent to do crosswords don't you think? and most of the time they cover the grey matte

  • -erhorn beast at Disneyland with scotch guard to protect his pelt from moisture or puke from rollercoaster riders. However, that was why its hide was so valuable to me because

  • it had dried sweat and vomit all over it from years of visitors. I hoped it would contain vomit from my long-lost husband. From it, we could extract his DNA and clone my beloved

  • or better yet splice his DNA with other animals like a horse or frog. We tested the vomit-DNA extensively to check it was indeed from my departed husband. Poe, eat your heart out.

  • Poe, you've been pwnd! That DNA is recombinant and not exactly my husband's, as it already contains some synthetic

  • compounds we have traced to his Jarvik-7 artificial heart. The tell tail compounds from my husband's heart are because Dr. Ravenwood's used a cheap chinese knockoff heart. Nevermor

  • e I took out Jarvik-7's heart as he died instantly. I went to unbury my husband at the cenetary and i put his heart back in him. He didnt awaken. It was the "made in china" heart.

  • I tried the next grave,"made it China" heart, too?! My plan wasnt 2 dig up all the graves.Then Casper showed up. He's cute! So I decided to float away w/him in2 the sunset



  1. buddyboy4711 Sep 30 2012 @ 17:43

    It took me a little while, but Sudoku --> Stu do klu

  2. Zetawilk Sep 30 2012 @ 23:59

    I could totally be a professional sudoku solver.

  3. jaw2ek Oct 01 2012 @ 12:03

    I'd be the guy that filled them all in smiley faces :)

  4. buddyboy4711 Oct 01 2012 @ 12:35

    I always thought it would be slick as hell (assuming hell froze over) if I got hired by a Kakuro or Nurikabe company as Resident Puzzle Solver. I'd even bring my own pencils, prospective employers!... What's that? You guys "probably don't exist"? *sigh*

  5. Zetawilk Oct 01 2012 @ 16:48

    In terms of "prospective employers", those guys "assuredly don't exist".

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