People always told me, "Stu, you can't be

People always told me, "Stu, you can't be a professional Sudoku solver. That's not even a thing." But I was gonna make it happen. I had logic in my mind, $20 in my pocket, and

a bar of soap I promised my mother of I would use only in the most dire need. I trudged down the street in a daze when someone said, "Stu, do klu klux klan members do crosswords?"

-erhorn beast at Disneyland with scotch guard to protect his pelt from moisture or puke from rollercoaster riders. However, that was why its hide was so valuable to me because

it had dried sweat and vomit all over it from years of visitors. I hoped it would contain vomit from my long-lost husband. From it, we could extract his DNA and clone my beloved

or better yet splice his DNA with other animals like a horse or frog. We tested the vomit-DNA extensively to check it was indeed from my departed husband. Poe, eat your heart out.

Poe, you've been pwnd! That DNA is recombinant and not exactly my husband's, as it already contains some synthetic

compounds we have traced to his Jarvik-7 artificial heart. The tell tail compounds from my husband's heart are because Dr. Ravenwood's used a cheap chinese knockoff heart. Nevermor

e I took out Jarvik-7's heart as he died instantly. I went to unbury my husband at the cenetary and i put his heart back in him. He didnt awaken. It was the "made in china" heart.

I tried the next grave,"made it China" heart, too?! My plan wasnt 2 dig up all the graves.Then Casper showed up. He's cute! So I decided to float away w/him in2 the sunset