Perry White settled in at his desk at the

Perry White settled in at his desk at the Daily Planet and poured himself a stiff bourbon -- three fingers, no ice. He thought about how he had pimped out Lois to get the story of

that mystery behind Jimmy Olson. Why was he never around when Superman was out? Perry gave Lois a slinky dress and told her to get nearer that boy reporter. Lois tossed it in the

fire-breathing dragon's mouth and ran. He did not want

anything to do with dragons' mouths, fire-breathing or not. This dated back to an incident as a child when he'd been caught inside a giant animatronic dragon, and had to escape by

being electronically defecated. Unfortunately the animatronic dragon was in mid-flight about a mile off the ground. Feces-caked and free-falling his death was assured but

en the source of the dead Dragon's dung was in dispute. The village zoologist claimed that mechanical dragons can't produce dung.But the village engineer said it was a dung-fueled

mouth driven by a dung-filled brain that would say something so stupid. The village engineer said even the village idiot knows if you're going to build a mechanical dragon,

you have to use non-flammable materials. "Asbestos would be best," he said, chewing contemplatively on a stalk of wheat, "but do we really want poisonous fire-breathing dragons?"

A silly question. The dragons' wisdom, despite their formidable abilities, proved them adept at solving our menial economic problems, so long as we dressed in food costumes.