It was a dark and stormy night. So I've

It was a dark and stormy night. So I've been told. I really didn't notice. I had my head in the oven at the time. I was drunk and forgot to turn the gas on, fell asleep and

woke up with the mother of all neck cricks. I had a crick in my neck so bad I couldn't even move my eyes. I just lay on the kitchen floor and listened to the drops of rain. Suicide

boys comin' back for more. They'd show up every Thursday night to pick up whatever squad comics I had piled outside my cell. The Homeboys could trade the comics in for all kinds of

homes. They loved homes. Skinny homes. Tall homes. Big fat juicy homes. The Homeboys were terribly afraid of Housewives.

The Housewives were a whole other matter. They loved homes too... but they didn't love to eat them. Housewives, instead, wanted to LIVE in them. Can you imagine? Obviously,

They had watched too much tv before moving in. Their pantries were filled with everything you could dream of, including Swedish crispbreads. Their husbands were pleased about the

good stock of beer, and went to work on it immediately. A game of beer pong materialized. The wives groaned. "Like a pack of 16 year olds" Doris said, disgusted. She grabbed her

best friend and lieutenant Maribel by the hair, which came loose, and for a moment they glared and scheduled a time for verbal slappy-face as they left their hubbies' man-den in a

huff. It was almost time for the bus to leave for the mall. Shopping, was the next thing on the agenda...lots of shopping!