The jolly codger walked down the cobblestones
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The jolly codger walked down the cobblestones with a crowd of orphans surrounding him. "Now, whose wants to try for this shilling?" He held the coin high above his head. The urchin
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was willing to fly in the hot air balloon. "Pick me," he pleaded. Minutes later he ascended high above the rip rap of the street where he was a begger, thief and never noticed.
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No one noticed. Old. Single. Homeless. Everyday was the same. Bill Murray walked by, totally self-obsessed then I would die. The worst was when he tried to resuscitate me, his
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lips pressing upon my own, and I was unable to come to terms with my own sexual insecurity, even in my old age. One thing that made me sexually insecure was Bill Murray. Really,
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Bill Murray's lounge singer schtick was so overpoweringly erotic, that it made everything else pale in comparison. When I am as old as Bill, I will
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open my own lounge and sing the theme to "Star Wars" every night. But listening to Murray now made me realize that there were things to do. I picked up the phone and called Sarah.
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She was silent throughout my three hour tirade in which I detailed every, even the most trivial discomfort she had caused me. When I was through, she calmly responded, "My name is
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writ with water in your case, sunshine. I'm off to the healing sulphur baths of Eger where the baroque architecture will uplift & soothe my soul. Adios." "Good riddance," I spat
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, sick & tired of the whole stupid situation. What ever happened to people who could buck up, take it on the chin, grin and bear it? Healing sulphur baths, my ass! I miss the days
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before them metrosexual spas & the Green Party. I spat my tobaccy juice out the window of my big ol' redneck truck & sped off into the sunset singin' Sweet Home Alabama. Shee-eeet!
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- Started
- 2011-06-07 23:47:44
- Finished
- 2014-03-14 19:48:02
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