The moment one learns english complications

The moment one learns english complications set in. It was a statement my Uncle Balthus made the day he was sentenced for plaigiarism. Later I found out that even those words were

copy-pasted straight from Wikipedia. The tragic part is that just after my Uncle got the chair for plagiarism it was quantitatively shown that every possible combination of words h

e ever uttered were neurolinguistically determined & inevitable. But sure, try to get a jury to understand that. This wasn't three-note chords, and those simpletons fried my Uncle

Tom's Cabin which was an original signed by Harriet Beecher Stowe. It said, "To Barnaby, Lot's of Luck." The simpletons burnt book before I could get to the Antique Roadshow

, darn it anyway. I was running out of time,but I really wanted to take something to the Antique Roadshow. Rushing out, I just grabbed my Uncle Ernie's coffee mug & made up a story

about how Ernie always drinks his morning coffee out of it (he's actually a tea guy. Shh!). "You'll see that it says '#1 Uncle'," I told the appraiser. She noticed "Made in Taiwan"

tattooed on my forehead. I blushed. "Youthful indiscretion," I lied. The appraiser frowned and examined the #1 Uncle mug, and then Ernie. She shook her head. "He's not #1."

And as his eyes drifted behind the girl, he saw a hat, blue and white, with "I'm #1" Sitting on the table. Hastily taped to the sides was two cup holders with cans of soda.

He drank the two cans of soda.