I was on hold for fifty-seven minutes before

I was on hold for fifty-seven minutes before she came back and asked me for my information again. I told her calmly & politely my name and info. "Please hold" she said. I cracked.

I said, "No you hold! You HOLD! I know that there are overpaid assholes in suits playing golf and grin fucking each other because they figured out that customer service means jerk

chicken for the plebes. But what do YOU care, Mr. Grin-shackles? Its all gumdrops and honey sticks for YOUR kind, isn't it? Why don't you try

THIS! With that, I pulled out the rubber chicken and aimed it at him. The rubber chicken...wait, wait! When did a rubber chicken enter the script? Cut! Someone get me

a steak sandwich, a bloody mary, and another steak sandwich. Put it on the Underhill's tab. OK, let's start anew... Joe Momma walked into the truck stop.

Many of the steak sandwiches merely smacked Joe in the face and slid down, smearing grease and sauce over his fat, piggish facade. Mr. Undehill's throws became more violent to the

point that the lightspeed sandwiches' lives rewinded before their eyes. Joe was struck by a cow covered in wheat. Joe flung his orange juice, which turned to oranges just before

his mother gave birth.Shocked,Joe the sperm realized his father was not his namesake Joe Namath as she'd always claimed,but as he devolved into a double stranded helix he recognize

d the composition of the deoxyribonucleic acid that was similar to that of Joe Salmon. Joe impregnated the next egg to come down the chute and he lived happily ever after.