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A cardboard box arrived unexpectedly for

  • A cardboard box arrived unexpectedly for me in the mail, heavy with its unwanted contents. Dammit, I must have forgotten to

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  • cancel my order for that family of pet rocks... oh well. I figured I'd make the best of the situation. I needed new friends anyway. I set them up in my living room, all 25 of them.

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  • Two baker's dozens minus one sat around stone faced, reflecting blankly all that they saw. They were polished, if nothing else, but sedentary and unmoved. Nothing affected them

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  • because they were zen doughnuts. They had trained with Suzuki Roshi, the Apple Fritter had become the abbot of the local Monastery. He had chosen the path of spirituality because

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  • of his etherial connections to Galas and Red Deliciouses. But Suzuki would be foiled by other carnal pleasures. Yes, that tart Sonya was a cherry purveyor, whose exlover Bing had

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  • turned out to be gay. We found out when Bing went off to live with sweet Mr. Marischino. I missed Mr. Marischino. He could top anything.

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  • The things that man could do with just a bungee cord and a wet carrot! He always exceeded my expectations. Oh, poor Mr. Marischino, if only you hadn't

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  • forgotten your glasses! Perhaps then you would have realized that you'd clipped the cord to your underpants!

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  • "I what?" he tried to scream as the jet pack fired up. But it was too late, the jet pack lifted off without him, leaving him naked and burned. No matter, he thought, I'll just

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  • use this chopper that was here all along. And hey look! Some bandages and fresh clothes too! He took off across the open water into the setting sun and knew everything would be OK.

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