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But Bill Clinton wasn't going to be shown

  • But Bill Clinton wasn't going to be shown up by some pencil-necked blue-blood yankee. He grabbed up as much as he could carry, all of it was soiling his

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  • "Just add water and VOILA - a mud pie!" The studio audience cheered. The Phil and Lil cooking show was a hit. "And you can even add bugs and

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  • maggots for extra proteine" they exclaimed proudly. Ever since the PTA had taken over the government, the word "magpie" had contracted a whole new meaning. Keeping farm animals was

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  • rough if you wanted to keep it legal under the new standards. Farmers everywhere were chainsawing animals' heads off just to avoid paying fines. Ranchman Jimbo had an

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  • ace up his sleeve; he'd paste the heads of non-farm animals onto bloody stumps of actual farm animals and thought he'd get past the bylaws that way. Mad science of the deep south.

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  • Clever thinking, but not clever enough. He'd forgotten the sub-clause of the bylaw outlawing cow decapitation for nefarious purposes. While picking litter on community service, he

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  • contemplated his choices. He could (a) turn over a new leaf & become an upstanding citizen, (b) call his Uncle Vinny to exact revenge, or (c) join a Tibetan monastary. He decided

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  • to (d) Do all of the above. As Mayor of Mooloolah Uncle Vinny was embezzling all of the towns moolah so his nephew would be an upstanding citizen by punishing Vin with Tibetan Kung

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  • Fu Pow, a garlic chicken dish with a spicy lethal kick. It didn't phase Uncle Vinny though. He laughed out loud, setting his nephew's hair on fire & ordering him out of Mooloolah.

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