Fran's Kafka sat at the back of the coach

Fran's Kafka sat at the back of the coach of the 18-30 holiday to Marbella. Morose doesn't even come close to describing his general demeanour. He'd left Prague with high hopes of

getting his black, emo hair that glossy sheen he wanted, so that he could be more emo. Franz Kafka was no Nietzsche, but they were meeting in Marbella to have an illicit affair.

When Franz Kafka arrived at the train station he felt bewildered. His "meeting" with Nietzsche would not be for another three hours. Until then, what would he do? Comfort food

was not something Kafka ever imagined. He wandered around in a fugue at all the food choices at the Station Food Court. When he ordered a pretzel he found himself being interogated

by Col Mustard in the queue with a plastic butter knife. He cornered Kafka at the pick-up counter. "Drop the pretzel, and nobody gets hurt!"

Professor Plum and Mrs. White intervened as Mean Mr. Mustard and his sister Pam crossed the road before the chicken made it, by seconds. Mrs. Green filmed it all on her smartphone.

She sent it to Mrs.Scarlet Johanson who texted back "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." Pam was a real go getter and entered Krispey Kremes ordering a bakers Dozen from

because there in front of her sat the biggest hairiest spider that she had ever seen. Perfect, now just add that to potion, but as she picked it up it

bit her and she died right there. As the spider skedaddled away, there was but one lingering question: What of the toad? Aunt Valetta closed the storybook & kissed me goodnight