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...I lied to my doctor. Yet again. This time

  • ...I lied to my doctor. Yet again. This time I didn't even need to.

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  • I'm pretty sure he could see the 3ft watermelon vine shooting through my forehead. It's a funny story actually, it started about 2 weeks ago. I was watching TV eating pepper and ch

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  • -ildren and feeling an inflated sense of smugness when contestants cried on Master Chef. Chef Ramsay spittering and sputtering making people cry because they made a tough short

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  • -ening. "Sorry, Chef Ramsey, all I heard was "short" and assumed you meant shortening, not shortcake." Ramsey blew a gasket. "I said shortbread! Don't add random endings to words t

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  • ranglyfloppitywhoopeesnerk! Man, I hate it when that happens. Anyway, I was telling you to stop adding random endings to my words! If you know what's good for you, you'll st

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  • art investing in a small-time software engineering company with a strong vision and attractive website!" The kid snorted and jumped on his hoverbike. "Yeah right grandpa, everyone

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  • 's a looser but me!" Revving his hoverbike he left with a woosh, & a zoom & then a splutter. "Damn, Grandpa! My hoverbike is broken. Fix it plz." "But I thought I was just a 'loose

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  • Screw in the rotor. It was far more serious." The mechanics worked all day and night to fix it as quickly as possible. The transformational process took what seemed like forever.

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  • There was only doubt in their minds when the mechanics finally pulled the lever. Mechanical groans emanated from the machine and it's aeroplane rotor started buzzing angrily.

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  • But then...sssssppppp uuuuttututututuuuututtuuu.....errerewewew.....woooooooowheeeeeee! And suddenly they were soaring through the clouds, off to complete their mission!

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