When I got back to Iris, we shared some of

When I got back to Iris, we shared some of the food and fell asleep smelling of Funyons. I woke up late in the afternoon and Iris was using the last of the ice on her forehead

milk shakes. She basically scratched her scalp flakes into a cereal box. She'd collected 8 0z of dandruff, which she then made smoothies out of. She said the rich nutty

aroma was nothing compared to the thick sludge just filling up your belly. Her brother had actually chewed a Guiness Book of World Records fourth-place total for

the privilege of tasting this special coffee. Now it sat there like glue and wouldn't move. Who ever thought of picking coffee beans out of Civet poop had to be mad or desperate or

really really into coffee. Chivet poop came out like a solid brick, you'd need tools to get the sweetest of sweet coffees. But each bean was totally worth it, because the Chivet

produces a special enzyme that breaks down the elements that normally cause coffee to taste bitter. That's why Chivet's dung makes the best coffee ever. An obscure Indonesian tribe

's casino had to stop selling the coffee because it gave all the customers good luck, too. But the word got out, so that high rollers started carrying dung to the gaming tables

human skin, to hide their scales.These high rollers liked hanging out in the casino lounge.That's right, they were lounge lizards.High lounge lizards dealing dung chips and winning

little lizard paper hats for them to wear and seem so dapper. And little paper dinner jackets so they could sit there and lounge around and look like dandy little fops.